I Faced My Demons - Literally
As a child, I loved watching scary movies. I am a Scorpio, which means all things spooky made me intrinsically happy.
I loved all things Horror.
Growing up in the 80s and 90s, when the film industry was amping up the special effects in horror films for that time, did numbers on my morbid psyche.
I remember watching Halloween, Friday the 13th, The Exorcist, and other great yet terrifying films from the 70s and 80s. My personal favorite was the one movie that changed my little dark Scorpio life forever: Nightmare on Elm Street. Mr. Freddy Krueger was my favorite villain. I could not get enough of watching him destroy teenagers.
I loved watching shows like Tales from the Dark Side, Tales from the Crypt, Twilight Zone, etc. Once the movie or show was over, I was left with the side effects. There I was, 9 years old, staring off into the darkness before I went to sleep, scanning the room for anything spooky that could attack me.
What I did not realize at the time was by consuming that content at such a young age, I was creating scenarios in my mind.
The Program of Religion
Religion is one of the main culprits of fear.
Being taught at a very young age that my Creator may send me to hell for eternal damnation where demons will torture me for the rest of my entire existence all while consuming fear-based programming, set the scene for my mindset.
The thought of demons existing just to torture me for eternity all because I disappointed “God” was upsetting, to say the least. Hearing about demons haunting homes, objects, pets, etc, put me in such a fear-based mindset, I was constantly praying the spirits away.
No matter where I lived, it was haunted. My children have the gift of sight, which means, they see and feel spirits. So not only was I tormented, my precious babies were also.
I used Olive Oil, I saged, I called on the name of Jesus. I did all the things I was supposed to do. I read bible scripture. I did research. I could not keep these spirits out of my home!
Spirituality will Awaken You
On my journey, I was introduced to my Higher Self.
I was pulled out of religion. I started working with my Ancestors. Once I did that, the hauntings stopped. I realized the reason why I could not remove the spirits was that they were our ancestors and spirit guides sent to help us! Imagine being assigned a job to protect someone and that person is constantly trying to push you away or destroy you. I am so Sorry Ancestors. My bad.
My Journey into the Underworld
As I walked away from religion, I still had this underlying fear of demons. Through intense shadow work and self-acceptance, I was on the path of facing my shadow self and eliminating that aspect of fear.
One night when I closed my eyes to go to sleep, I was instantly in a dark place. No light — just complete darkness. As I gazed into the dark, I started to feel anxious. Where was I? Why was I here? How do I get out?
Face-off with MY Demons
Off in the distance, a bright light appeared. In that light was the most horrific creature I have ever witnessed. There are no movies that could recreate such a terrifying creature. I was frozen in complete terror. I was lucid which means I could feel the physical sensation of everything around me.
I felt my heart racing out of my chest. I could feel my body shaking. I thought to myself, “I am about to get attacked!” Before all hope was lost within me, I heard a beautiful voice that sounded familiar. It was MY VOICE! It stated, “No Fear. They cannot harm you.”
I faced my FEAR
I was standing CONFIDENT against this horrendous little creature. I could feel my Higher Self standing behind me, supporting me. I felt unstoppable. The courage I was experiencing felt amazing. I have never felt that much power and fearlessness.
The demon snarled its very sharp teeth and jumped at me. Just like Neo in the movie “The Matrix”, I put my hand up to its terrifying little face right before it attacked me and said, “No. You cannot hurt me. You are just an aspect of me.”
The demon instantly dropped to the ground. It looked up at me in a sheepish yet respectful manner. It no longer had the energy of rage towards me anymore. It shrugged its shoulders and walked behind me.
I stepped forward and encountered another demon; more vicious and terrifying than the first. The Voice once again reminded me, “They cannot harm you.”
For the rest of my “dream”, I faced countless demons. I would begin to walk a few steps, and a demon would appear. I would stop it mid-attack and tell it that it could not harm me because it was an aspect of me. I did this ALL NIGHT without waking up.
I finally finished my journey into the Void. I stopped and the voice said, “Now Turn around.” What I witnessed blew my unconscious mind! I had a LEGION of “demons” following behind me instead of attacking me. I noticed how small they were; how I towered over them. They stood there waiting for my word on what they should do next.
As I was staring back at my little creations, my Higher Self stated, “They now work for you instead of attacking you. You have been creating these energies with your thoughts since you were a small child. You transmuted their purpose. So instead of attacking you, they now serve you.” That is power!
Take your power back.
That is becoming the Creator of your reality instead of the Victim. Once you realize you are a powerful co-creator as an aspect of Source having a human experience, it changes everything for your benefit.
Life doesn’t happen to you. Life happens for you.
When you realize that your mind is an energetic supercomputer that creates whatever you feel (emotions are energy in motion) into reality, it recalibrates your whole thought process into a new perspective. You start to guard your thoughts and energy.
There are no scapegoats.
Your shadow is not something outside of you.
Your shadow self is YOU. You are the Angel and Demon in your reality. You are the hero and you are the villain. It’s how you choose to live it. There are no scapegoats. We are the Main Characters in our existence.
I am grateful to my Guides who support me on my mission. They helped me face my shadow so I can heal. They challenged me to face my fears. My Higher Self and Spirit Guides saved my life. I created this and I am the one that has to correct it. Knowing there is no devil or scapegoat to blame makes me more accountable for how I show up in my life.
