Take Your Power Back

Abusive individuals use tactics like emotional manipulation to make you feel guilty about what they have inflicted upon you.

Due to their abusive past and childhood trauma, they latch onto codependent individuals who only want what’s best for them. They compare the codependent person to past failed relationships in order to make them feel as if they are not measuring up to their standards.

Emotional and mental abuse can be detrimental. These traumatic events can cause long-term effects on the victims. Parents are normally the first ones to either set the life path for their children to success or failure. Unfortunately, parents who were abused as children will pass down the same abuse to their children, unless they have done the work to break that cycle.

It took me 46 years to realize I was a codependent person. My father was physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive my entire life. By me trying to prove to him that I was good enough, it set the stage for how I would show up in my friendships and relationships.

I stayed friends with people for longer than I should have due to the codependency. I wanted to prove to people that if they were loved properly, then they would be happier. I had no idea I was literally destroying myself with this mindset.

Friends, teachers, employers, relationships — I had this overwhelming drive to prove that I was worthy of whatever position I was in their life. The reason why I was behaving this way was due to self-loathing and insecurities that started with my father.

I would attract narcissists into my life due to this “fixer” mentality. I truly thought “If I show them how they deserve to be loved, they will accept me.” I was projecting onto them what I needed for myself as a child. I just thought love could fix everything. I was wrong and right. I was focusing on the wrong individual.

1. I needed to unconditionally love myself.
2. I needed to heal myself.
3. I needed to forgive myself.
4. I needed to be patient with myself.
5. I needed to embrace that inner wounded child and let her know that she is the strongest and most loving person I know.

I realized it was my time to correct all of the mistakes/lessons, and start my journey of self-discovery!

I started to realize that emotional manipulation is used as a tactic by narcissists to hinder you from recognizing your value and personal empowerment. They feed off of others' misery. What gives them power is when they have made you feel as miserable and low as they can get you. Then they blame you for your emotions.

If you are in a situation that leaves you feeling hopeless, whether that be a job or a relationship, take the necessary steps to cut that negativity out of your life. Make the choice today to never allow that type of abusive energy in your personal space.