The Irony of Burial
Burial is a sacred practice where we place something we care about safely into the Earth.
We bury a lot of things.
We bury our dead as their final resting place. We bury seeds into the ground to grow a tree, a flower, or a garden full of life-sustaining fruits and vegetables. We bury time capsules for safekeeping so future generations can later dig them up and get a glimpse of the past. Dogs bury bones and cats bury litter.
In some cultures, they will partially bury a sick person so the Earth can heal their ailment. It is safe to say, burial is a beautiful process.
Life vibes with the art of burial.
Yin or Feminine Energy is dark — not evil. The dark is where we rest and recuperate. We go to sleep when it’s nighttime. A person feels “they’re in the dark” about something due to not having information about a situation.
Space is dark. A baby incubates and grows in the dark womb of their mother as they develop. They are in a safe loving space kept from harm. Nothing evil about it.
Burying a seed in the ground is the womb of Mother Earth. The seed is in a dark and safe space as it develops into a plant or tree. It’s not in an evil or sad place. Even though it is hidden from the sun’s rays, it still thrives and takes root.
We bury trauma to nurture our conscious minds.
Every time we are hurt or disappointed, depending on how traumatic that hurt is, we will bury that emotion or experience because it’s too much for our conscious minds to handle. Due to not wanting to face the pain so it can be healed properly, we bury it and ignore it.
As we go into adulthood, life happens, we take our “time capsules” aka past traumas, and bury them deep into our subconscious mind. We carry on with life, ignoring the pain, not realizing we have planted a seed. Unfortunately, that seed has now grown roots and has formed a program or block in the subconscious mind. This program creates our reality.
The program now manifests as financial problems, relationship issues, depression, stress, and insecurities. The program has created a block or blocks, depending on how much you have buried.
You attract toxic people. You get passed over for promotions. No matter how much you save, you can’t get ahead of the accumulating debt. If you do receive a raise, a new bill will magically appear to claim the “overflow”. The trauma that lives buried deep in your subconscious mind is creating a pretty wack reality.
My Story
No matter how many affirmations I declared, I was stuck at just making it.
Life kicked my ass. After two failed marriages, I decided to take a break from dating. My last marriage took a huge piece of me. Here I was, 46 years old, divorced, and hurting. I realized there was an obvious pattern I was not seeing. I stayed too long in fruitless and unhappy relationships.
I suffered from depression and I could not get myself out of this place where I knew I did not belong. I felt like a prisoner. I felt like I was being punished. I was your typical paycheck to paycheck person. As soon as payday came, I was already looking forward to the next pay cycle due to overdue bills. I got passed over on promotions. I had dug myself into my own grave and I could not climb out.
I made the choice to not bring my unhealed trauma or baggage into another relationship. I wanted to be healed fully, completely, and love myself just as much as I loved others. I knew I was a good person. I knew I deserved better than what I allowed myself to experience.
I needed to break the cycle.
I was told by a formal spiritual mentor to “call in the light” so I can “raise my vibration.” I was to visualize a light coming down from Source into the crown of my head. I called in the light. It felt good for a moment. But as soon as certain triggers would happen, the good feeling dissolved.
I kept calling in the light while watching the spiritual gurus on Youtube tell me how I am love and light. No matter how much I called in the light and meditated, I was still broken. I could not understand where they were getting this extreme love and light happiness from. I am an empath so for some so-called healers, I could feel they were not authentic. They were doing it for the views. I felt so lost.
I knew my purpose but I was scared.
Even though I had advanced spiritually, I still did not feel “good enough”. I knew who my Higher Self was. I could recognize the Higher Aspects in others but I could not see my greatness. I suffered from imposter syndrome.
The Void
I went through a phase where I could not recall my dreams. I would normally journal them. I tried so hard to recall the dream. I would roll out of bed and immediately grab my journal. I could not remember any of my dreams! All I saw was darkness.
I would try to do guided meditation and I could not envision what the meditation was telling me. I have a huge imagination. But when I closed my eyes and tried to visualize the light or a bridge. All I saw was darkness.
I messaged my friend/spiritually grounded Mentor Corrie. “I don’t understand why I cannot visualize an image. I have a great imagination. I can’t do guided meditations! I can’t journal my dreams! All I see is darkness. What is wrong with me!” Her advice came straight from Shakti Herself. Corrie replied, “Crystal, you have been through a lot. You are currently in the Void for rest and healing. Just flow with it. Don’t fight it!” So I did just that.
Uprooting the Programming
I was guided a year ago by my Higher Self to do intense shadow work. When I first did it, I was plunged back into another Dark Knight of the Soul (extreme spiritual depression). I was already experiencing pain and loss due to my divorce, so that didn’t stop me. I was prepared.
No matter how much it hurt, I kept digging into myself. When I felt shady towards someone, I would instantly go within. Why am I feeling this? Why did I react this way? What is causing this trigger? I became obsessed with Shadow Work. I started recognizing the patterns. I was growing. I was healing. I could feel a change.
The Dark Healed Me.
I was relieved! I started to welcome the darkness. I knew in the darkness was where I would find my healing. I was with the trauma that I had buried and I was finally facing it. In turn, I was being healed by Source.
I knew the only way I could heal completely was to face my “SHIT”, (Shadow, Healing, Integration, Timelines) or for the less “Woo” folk: Setbacks, Hurt, Insecurities, and Trauma — respectfully. Read Shadow Work 101.
I stopped listening to other people and tuned into my higher power or Higher Self. I turned off the outside noise. I stopped listening to the channeled messages from the Galactic Council and started listening to my inner child. I needed practical solutions to my problem, not the light language!
My Aha Moment!
I have been played by the system.
When I was younger, I always saw myself as wealthy. But due to indoctrination and the scheduled programming, I lost my true essence and sense of self. I needed to heal. I started to have flashbacks of my childhood that I had forgotten! Not only did I bury my pain, but I also buried my happy times with it!
The childhood abuse, trauma, and indoctrination set my course in life. Unfortunately, that course was set to misery, disease, struggle, and failure! I realized due to the past traumas and setbacks, I had buried so much in my subconscious mind that I was perpetuating the reality I did not want. The AUDACITY!!
I wake up with a purpose to live my life to the fullest.
Today at this present moment, I am feeling more free and excited about life.
I was the type of person who prayed for the asteroid to hit the earth. I was anxiously awaiting Yellowstone to Blow her Top! For me to be excited about life was a huge accomplishment!
I faced all of my trauma, shame, and lessons. I even faced the demons that I created! I fully own who I Am. I stopped trying to be something that others wanted me to be. I am absolutely fine with all of my dark.
In my dark is where I found my light.
In honor of Yin, I embrace my Dark Energy. I love my Dark Energy. My Dark Energy is not negative nor is it evil. It is healing and it is protection so I can face another day. I use the dark for healing, recovery, repair, and creation. If I happen to be in the dark about something, I know all will be revealed at the perfect time.
We have to feel it to heal it.
It is time to dig up the buried trauma and reincarnate that pain as a lesson in healing!
I now realize what it means to retrieve lost soul aspects of yourself! I was taking my power back in a more grounded fashion. I started envisioning my future self as my present self. Instead of hating rich people, I respected them. Instead of pushing abundance and happiness away from me, I started to become an energetic match to them.
Our thoughts create our reality — good or bad
Emotions are Energy In Motion.
Our Words hold Power. When we match emotion with our powerful words, our thoughts will manifest into reality a lot faster! We get to decide which reality we would like to live in.
Burying shame does nothing but cause a root to anchor into our subconscious mind, where it grows and manifests our pain into reality. When we live from an unhealed subconscious state, we recreate the trauma that has now taken a root and is growing.
You are Limitless.
Please realize your shadow and pain are not something outside of you.
There is no scapegoat to blame. No one is coming to save you. You are your savior. It has always been you. You are Energy. You Are Source having a human experience. You do not have to accept the lies and the programming that society has pushed upon humanity.
Imagine being content within yourself and waking up every single day with a purpose that serves YOUR highest good. Imagine having an endless supply of money and resources at your disposal. Imagine that the Universe is YOURS and you have the Guides and Ancestors supporting you. You are breaking the generational curses and blocks over your future generations. You deserve all the happiness and abundance in the world.
We have to heal our trauma.
We have to dig up the old buried programs and traumas to heal them. They no longer serve our mission.
Once your subconscious mind is cleared of all the decaying roots, you can now reprogram it with self-love, motivation, determination, desires, support, and an overall knowing that confirms how much you truly love life and life adores you! Anytime a trigger resurfaces, take the steps to deal with it. Do not ignore your pain. It is real and it serves a purpose.
Learn the lessons from the pain so you can change the pattern of the programming. Once you envision the life that you deserve and desire, lack turns into abundance. You will attract the right people because you will not allow any nonsense to interrupt your beautiful vibe or emotional state!
Realize how powerful you are. Trust your Higher Power and flow with your true destiny. TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK!
